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scotkaz · Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 527

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news...dren-in-need-skit-86908-20896468/[url]

He was actually quite good. Its nice to see him getting involved in something like Children in Need.

DEARLY beloved... it's Alex Salmond as Scotland's favourite moaning minister.

The First Minister appeared as the Reverend IM Jolly for the BBC's Children In Need last night.

Salmond is known among pals for his impression of the classic character created by the late Rikki Fulton.

The dour minister was a popular fixture on Hogmanay TV.

Salmond, wearing a dog collar and sitting in an armchair, kept a poker face as he began: "It's been a helluva year.

"Gloom, despondency, despair and much gnashing of teeth - but enough of Scotland's World Cup campaign..."

He said: "Dearly beloved fellow Scots - and Gordon Brown.

"It is at times of great fiscal strain and hardship that we turn to the Bible for words of comfort and solace.

"Take Genesis. God said, 'Let there be Sky - and those who can afford Sky can watch the best fitba'. And the Lord also said, 'Let there be light' - but he changed his mind when the leccie bill came in."

The First Minister joked: "When I was at university studying for the ministry, I realised I would go down in history. Then I went down in geography and French as well."

He added: "When I was awarded this high office, I celebrated by asking the whole congregation to join me in thanksgiving, hymns, prayers and a curry.

"But I developed food poisoning and was not able to go in to question time. People asked if it was the fritters - I said no, just a slight tummy upset."

Referring to recent by-election results, Salmond said his "evangelical crusades" had gone down well in Glasgow East - but "slightly less well in Glenrothes".

He said: "I preached, 'Yes we can', the people replied, 'Nah we didnae'."

Salmond added: "My lady wife is also cutting back - for my birthday she is knitting me fingerless gloves.

"I'm not one to complain but it's been freezing.

"To paraphrase the book of Matthew chapter 22 verse 12, 'See ma fingers - many were cauld; a few were frozen'."

Salmond also paid tribute to his predecessor, Jack McConnell, saying he had a "great time replacing all the light bulbs he had taken with him".

Salmond ended his message saying: "Please dig deep - it's for the weans."

The total raised had soared well past the £10million mark last night as the BBC pulled out all the stops in a bid to try to smash last year's £37million total.

_________________
Great Spirit, grant that I may not criticize my neighbor until I have walked a mile in his moccasins." - Old Native American Indian Prayer that my dad taught me.